Femme Fatale

I'm down with a nasty cold again. While my head is packed with slime heavy and I feel drowsy and weak, I've been descovering some Lana Del Rey videos again. I'm feeling quite passionate about the lyrics, that clear piano melody, the way she moves and of those red lips..   

So dramatic, so simple. 
What do you think?

Assemble Ensemble

Get ready for some dreadful chaos in these BEFORE shots of my crib in Darmstadt. My Tallerhalf came over this weekend for a second match of IKEA Battles. Until now I have been living more or less in a constant mess and in and out of paper boxes.

Okay it wasn't as bad everywhere. We just had to pile up most of the stuff on the other side of my 13,5 square meters in order to have some play room.

Tadaa! Here it is, the first part of my own storaging space in Dicktown Darmstadt! I wish to take some really nifty After-shots of the room as well in the near future. Wish you all a chilled beginning of the week!

Just COS

I popped into the Frankfurt COS store for the mid-season sales. These minimalistic beauties tagged along with a price of 62,50 euros reduced from 125e! Ka-ching!

Uncounciousness

I was asked yesterday about the spontanious fainting by a friend. The last time was in Hamburg caused by a flashlight directed straight at my eyes while being drunk. It included once again some twitching. I was afterwards often asked what it feels like to pass out, what the last thing I remembered was and if I had totally blacked out or if I knew what was going on.

Mostly I have no time to react or prevent the situation. It's sudden. Feels much like falling asleep or taking flight. A surprising feeling of freedom shots through the brain and you remove yourself from the complex surroundings and confusion.

Wait what? What do you mean confusion and complex surroundings?
Yeah.. umm.. I don't understand that either since actually you're mostly among friends or doing something perfectly normal. It just seems like you're brain however conciders it more stressing, is overloaded with input and chooses to take a holiday instead of going on. Like an overheated laptop it shuts down.

Well how does it feel? Achtung: this is the strange part.
From my point of view, passing out feels sort of nice. It's really difficult to explain since you don't really notice it actually happening. You feel free like you're in a dream. Nothing around you matters, it all stops excisting, you give into the haze and turn into materia. You're floating. The noice stops, you don't feel your body nor the ground.

I never noticed the pain of crashing to the ground, bashing my head or scratching my hands and knees while falling. Only after I've returned to myself I realise slowly that I'm lying/sitting on this cold wet muddy ground.

  
The twitching then?
Sometimes I do know that I'm doing it, othertimes not. I can't control it but nor do I want to in a way. It feels like you're trying to shake something off. Your heavy body perhaps?

Remember this one scene from Black Swan, where Natalie P. is getting her wings? That's more like it. It feels like something big is trying to escape from my body. Like big big wings would want to burst out to complete the transformation, to make me finally free. My body is the stopper, and something within wants to shatter it to pieces. Last time during the seizures I went along with it, enjoyed the sensation and waited for it to stop on it's own until I even realised to try and relax myself. I'm fully aware how psycho I sound by the way, but I wanted to tell the truth.

I'm slightly afraid of the possibility that I might not remember that one day. What if I decided to give into it completely in my haze? Would the seizures then manage to trash me for good?

For more reading: http://www.youthhealthtalk.org/
I'd like to point out that the doctors found nothing wrong with me other than my low blood pressure. I have no diagnosed epilepsy. I know that what I have just discribed sounds off and scary to some of you. Just remember, I'm talking about the FEELING of passing out, the FEELING of being uncounciouss.

603 Square Meters of Old Things

Pictures of me and Anna Lena selling our old clothes at a local fleamarket last Sunday. I can't wait to do it again this summer altho naturally all my good garnments are long gone by now. This time the location was this old hall, ex-night club now used for various daytime culture activities.

In itself the trip was worth our while. I made 40 euros and a bit more space for my other clothing. I also managed to sell some of my own fleamarket findings, that I've washed and repaired with even a bit of profit! It's really a nice feeling to let go of some old dress you once loved to wear but which just doesn't fit with my current "style" at all.

After the rush hours were gone and everything turned dead, I picked up my notably lighter bags and headed to Habibi with my love for some Vegan delights!

the most delicious seitan I've ever tasted for just 5 euros!

I've been a bad girl today by only going to work and not doing anything much  for my University afterwards altho I really need to.
Again. Sigh. I just cooked something small, had a Skype-meeting with my small bro and afterwards watched a Marilyn Monroe film.

Have a nice weekend buddies!

Vegan Brunch

I've started another Vegan month this April and so far everything seems to be going a lot more smoothly than it did in the past. All soy drinks were coincidentally on sale on the first week, so I naturally stocked up 6 litres of soy choco, soy vanilla and the regular soy milk! One of my colleagues at work tipped me of this Vegan Brunch organized on the first Sunday of each month at my University.

Everything is free of charge but you can make donations to pay of the food and whatever goes over those costs, goes to the animal rights organisation called Voice of Liberation. I was positively surprised of how full the whole event was! The brunch is usually followed by a row of talks but sadly I had to rush on to assist Anna Lena selling our things at a fleamarket. More about that later.

The food was insanely delicious yet not really much to munch at 10am. However, I filled my tummy with various pasta salads and desserts. I must learn to bake like this all vegan! Cooking is really no problem but my baking is still lacking the taste and the texture.

The only thing that stopped me for a bit was this tiny flyer on the tables. "Meat is Murder" -that's kind of old isn't it? I'm not into this aggressive conversion method at all and have learned that most people just turn a blind eye and shut their ears if you attack them with the reality. I don't want to yell and point fingers at anyone. People do know the truth about the meat industry by now and I think we should rather go full gas on promoting the benefits and easiness of a vegetarian/vegan lifestyle instead.

Meet you at the Vegan Brunch next month!

23rd Birthday

Yes that did happen last month and I didn't really post anything about it. I had a wonderful day altho -yet again- it was spent at the Uni, working on a big project. Luckily I have some awesome friends there, who welcomed me with flowers, cake, a reeeeeeaally chocolatey donut, bunch of hugs and champaign. What you will see however, are pics of my relaxed morning of eating well (for the first time in weeks) , listening to Jazz and opening the presents from my mom.

wore this on the same day

haha you thought it was all fruits and tiny muffins but actually it was just the starters!

Wooden key chain-thingie got immediately attached to my keys

iron wire bookmark resembling a heart

Funny how happy such tiny things can make you! I love having these items since they pop into my view several times a day, which immediately makes me think of my mom and feel warm and loved by her.